Six from six!
I highly recommend you stop here and go make a cup of tea. Or a margarita. This will be long. You have been warned.
So let's kick off with Sydney. Top trip. It was really good to go down and just feel normal for awhile. Not that I really know what normal is anymore. But I digress.
I stayed with Jacqui for the first few days, then with Brad, then with Rachel. Kinda passed around like a puppy, really. I flew in on Thursday afternoon, and traipsed out to Annandale to gatecrash the support group. Which, if I'd looked online, was not on that week. So then off to Jacqui's. Jacqui went to work on Friday, but had the afternoon off, so we did a spot of shopping before retiring to old faithful, the Swissotel, for the usual cocktail activity, followed by the usual duck down in Chinatown. Very agreeable. Over the weekend we went into Leichhardt for italian and gelato, but Brad sent me home again when he found out I had a cold. So we watched movies instead (again, very agreeable).
On Monday I caught up with an old college friend, Sarah, who moved to Sydney a couple of months ago. It was great to see her. That afternoon I was booked in for a dressing change out at Westmead hospital, and rang to see if I could organise a blood test too.
Now, normal people get colds. They say 'oh, I have a cold. What a drag.' People like me get colds. They say 'oh dear, I seem to have a cold. Better get a blood test to make sure that I have enough immune system to fight this so it doesn't turn into pneumonia and kill me.' Life could be so much simpler.
Anyway, I had enough immune system. What do you know, just a cold. Actually, the first time I've caught anything while on chemo, which is an excellent effort.
Monday night we went out to dinner for Nathan's birthday - absolutely pouring rain. I love Sydney.
Tuesday through till Friday I was staying at Brad's. Lots of movie watching - Brad even improved my mind with some 1970s Australian politics - and trips into the city to catch up with various people for lunches and coffees. It's quite nice being a lady wot lunches.
The last weekend I stayed with Rachel, and discovered the sheer amount of reality skanky rubbish that is available on Foxtel. To be fair, I also discovered how much food porn there is too. I love Nigella. We also went out to Milson's Point for brunch in the sunshine on Sunday, which was lovely.
Basically, my trip to Sydney gave me the chance to really spend some time with people there. I was feeling pretty healthy, I was definitely feeling pretty healthy, and it was a good trip for me, soul-wise. Thank you to everyone I got to spend time with. And thank you to Jacqui, Brad and Rach for bringing me down. What a superb birthday present.
Oh, and my mobile phone went completely kaput at one point. Started sulking and refused to receive text messages. So if you did text me while I was in Sydney and I did not respond, that is because my phone went berko. I apologise profusely.
Palace-dwellers... I have a present for you.
Her name is Restructure. She will need feeding every six months or so. Please keep her away from Russell.
And now onto this week!
On Tuesday I had my final ever chemo! I say that, and people look at me askance and say 'ever'? To which I say yes. It is highly unlikely that I will put myself through that again. Not to mention that it is highly unlikely that doing so would achieve anything. So there.
It's a slightly rougher chemo this time around. There was a bit of a stuff-up which resulted in one of my drugs being left out of the mix for the past three cycles. They intended to leave it out of the third cycle, but forgot to put it back in for the following two. So my last couple of cycles have been a bit easier than the first, but at the same time, they have probably been less effective. Not great. So anyway, the drug is now back in the mix, and I am feeling correspondingly crap.
But I should only feel crap for the rest of this week or so, and then I should start to heal and get some mojo back. Let's hope so.
In the meantime (whinge alert!), my bones are all burning, I feel like a stoned slug, and my mental processes have been put on slow play. I am hoping that my brain will turn itself back on again in the next couple of days. Never again will I tell a doctor that I have a 'parallel universe going on in my head'. Last time I said that I was on schizo pills for months. It is just a momentary surrealism. I am choosing to ignore signs that say 'Pregnancy Newsagency' (apparently it was pregnancy massage). I am choosing to ignore all the pretty patterns I see that are made up of knight moves. And the highly surreal chess game I had last night? All part of the process. Next week will be better. (Although I reckon there could be a market for a pregnancy newsagency.)
Interesting sidelight (on one of my favourite topics - and no, for once, I'm keeping schtum on that one) - on Tuesday morning, after weeks of feeling fine, before heading off to the hospital for chemo, I started puking. In the lead up to chemo, before any drugs have hit the system, I am nauseous. Go the psychological puke! In fact, by the time I got to the hospital, I was singing my new song 'Psychological puke, psychological puke' - to the tune of Indigeridoo from We Can Be Heroes. And I need to tell you, it is very hard to sing and retch simultaneously. You would think that knowing that the only reason you're puking is psychological would help, would maybe even stop you puking. Nope. It just makes you feel REALLY REALLY dumb.
So what's next for me? Well, I'm here in Brisbane till the end of May or so. Then I will go up to Mackay to 'convalesce' - the sort of thing rich but sickly ladies would do in that brisk mountain air in Switzerland. Either way, I need some time to come down off some of my drugs, regain some aerobic fitness, learn how to climb a flight of stairs, get some energy back - basically, what my doctor terms 'get my mojo back'. After that - who knows... I have some ideas, but I do not need to make any decisions for a little while yet. So there.
Evelyne, thank you for sharing your journey with me. I give thanks for you and your time on this earth, and I pray that the next part of your journey is one of great peace and joy. I pray also for your family as they adjust to life without you. Au revoir, Evelyne.
A largely factual post today, but I do have some exciting plans for this blog coming up in the future... so watch this space.
Much love,
God bless,
Jess xoxo
So let's kick off with Sydney. Top trip. It was really good to go down and just feel normal for awhile. Not that I really know what normal is anymore. But I digress.
I stayed with Jacqui for the first few days, then with Brad, then with Rachel. Kinda passed around like a puppy, really. I flew in on Thursday afternoon, and traipsed out to Annandale to gatecrash the support group. Which, if I'd looked online, was not on that week. So then off to Jacqui's. Jacqui went to work on Friday, but had the afternoon off, so we did a spot of shopping before retiring to old faithful, the Swissotel, for the usual cocktail activity, followed by the usual duck down in Chinatown. Very agreeable. Over the weekend we went into Leichhardt for italian and gelato, but Brad sent me home again when he found out I had a cold. So we watched movies instead (again, very agreeable).
On Monday I caught up with an old college friend, Sarah, who moved to Sydney a couple of months ago. It was great to see her. That afternoon I was booked in for a dressing change out at Westmead hospital, and rang to see if I could organise a blood test too.
Now, normal people get colds. They say 'oh, I have a cold. What a drag.' People like me get colds. They say 'oh dear, I seem to have a cold. Better get a blood test to make sure that I have enough immune system to fight this so it doesn't turn into pneumonia and kill me.' Life could be so much simpler.
Anyway, I had enough immune system. What do you know, just a cold. Actually, the first time I've caught anything while on chemo, which is an excellent effort.
Monday night we went out to dinner for Nathan's birthday - absolutely pouring rain. I love Sydney.
Tuesday through till Friday I was staying at Brad's. Lots of movie watching - Brad even improved my mind with some 1970s Australian politics - and trips into the city to catch up with various people for lunches and coffees. It's quite nice being a lady wot lunches.
The last weekend I stayed with Rachel, and discovered the sheer amount of reality skanky rubbish that is available on Foxtel. To be fair, I also discovered how much food porn there is too. I love Nigella. We also went out to Milson's Point for brunch in the sunshine on Sunday, which was lovely.
Basically, my trip to Sydney gave me the chance to really spend some time with people there. I was feeling pretty healthy, I was definitely feeling pretty healthy, and it was a good trip for me, soul-wise. Thank you to everyone I got to spend time with. And thank you to Jacqui, Brad and Rach for bringing me down. What a superb birthday present.
Oh, and my mobile phone went completely kaput at one point. Started sulking and refused to receive text messages. So if you did text me while I was in Sydney and I did not respond, that is because my phone went berko. I apologise profusely.
Palace-dwellers... I have a present for you.
Her name is Restructure. She will need feeding every six months or so. Please keep her away from Russell.
And now onto this week!
On Tuesday I had my final ever chemo! I say that, and people look at me askance and say 'ever'? To which I say yes. It is highly unlikely that I will put myself through that again. Not to mention that it is highly unlikely that doing so would achieve anything. So there.
It's a slightly rougher chemo this time around. There was a bit of a stuff-up which resulted in one of my drugs being left out of the mix for the past three cycles. They intended to leave it out of the third cycle, but forgot to put it back in for the following two. So my last couple of cycles have been a bit easier than the first, but at the same time, they have probably been less effective. Not great. So anyway, the drug is now back in the mix, and I am feeling correspondingly crap.
But I should only feel crap for the rest of this week or so, and then I should start to heal and get some mojo back. Let's hope so.
In the meantime (whinge alert!), my bones are all burning, I feel like a stoned slug, and my mental processes have been put on slow play. I am hoping that my brain will turn itself back on again in the next couple of days. Never again will I tell a doctor that I have a 'parallel universe going on in my head'. Last time I said that I was on schizo pills for months. It is just a momentary surrealism. I am choosing to ignore signs that say 'Pregnancy Newsagency' (apparently it was pregnancy massage). I am choosing to ignore all the pretty patterns I see that are made up of knight moves. And the highly surreal chess game I had last night? All part of the process. Next week will be better. (Although I reckon there could be a market for a pregnancy newsagency.)
Interesting sidelight (on one of my favourite topics - and no, for once, I'm keeping schtum on that one) - on Tuesday morning, after weeks of feeling fine, before heading off to the hospital for chemo, I started puking. In the lead up to chemo, before any drugs have hit the system, I am nauseous. Go the psychological puke! In fact, by the time I got to the hospital, I was singing my new song 'Psychological puke, psychological puke' - to the tune of Indigeridoo from We Can Be Heroes. And I need to tell you, it is very hard to sing and retch simultaneously. You would think that knowing that the only reason you're puking is psychological would help, would maybe even stop you puking. Nope. It just makes you feel REALLY REALLY dumb.
So what's next for me? Well, I'm here in Brisbane till the end of May or so. Then I will go up to Mackay to 'convalesce' - the sort of thing rich but sickly ladies would do in that brisk mountain air in Switzerland. Either way, I need some time to come down off some of my drugs, regain some aerobic fitness, learn how to climb a flight of stairs, get some energy back - basically, what my doctor terms 'get my mojo back'. After that - who knows... I have some ideas, but I do not need to make any decisions for a little while yet. So there.
Evelyne, thank you for sharing your journey with me. I give thanks for you and your time on this earth, and I pray that the next part of your journey is one of great peace and joy. I pray also for your family as they adjust to life without you. Au revoir, Evelyne.
A largely factual post today, but I do have some exciting plans for this blog coming up in the future... so watch this space.
Much love,
God bless,
Jess xoxo
posted by Jessie at 12:40 pm
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