So completely overwhelmed
So I've been very quiet for awhile. With good reason. I am so completely overwhelmed at the moment.
I started chemo and the new therapy (which is just another drug, so I tend to refer to it as chemo) again this week. We also finalised the move (well, Jason did) and are trying to settle into the new place. I have an enormous list of things I feel like I should do and I feel pretty lousy because let's face it, I just started chemo again.
The list of things I 'should' do is ridiculous but real. The craziness is getting to me and now that my energy levels are low and I feel sick a lot of the time I am just overwhelmed by it all.
And I feel hugely guilty for not posting more regularly. That's why. I'm overwhelmed at the moment.
I'm having trouble uploading photos as well. Add it to the list.
Please forgive my silence (both online and personal) at the moment. I am trying to keep it together.
I hope things will settle down soon.
I did a full set of CT scans before starting chemo and we are starting chemo again at just the right time. There is a big growth of tumours in my neck (which is physically visible, so no surprises there)and some under my right arm. It has also finally spread to my liver, but still in early stages there. We are hoping that the chemo aspect will shrink and slow the tumour growth and the new drug (Avastin)might kill off some tumours completely. Thus the rush to start chemo.
I hope things will settle down soon and I'll be a bit more human. There just seems to be one thing after another after another at the moment. Any single stress would be manageable, but combined all at once like my life is at this moment is just a bit... overwhelming.
Please keep praying for me. God is truly in control at this point - I admit wholeheartedly that I am not.
With love,
God bless,
Jess xox
I started chemo and the new therapy (which is just another drug, so I tend to refer to it as chemo) again this week. We also finalised the move (well, Jason did) and are trying to settle into the new place. I have an enormous list of things I feel like I should do and I feel pretty lousy because let's face it, I just started chemo again.
The list of things I 'should' do is ridiculous but real. The craziness is getting to me and now that my energy levels are low and I feel sick a lot of the time I am just overwhelmed by it all.
And I feel hugely guilty for not posting more regularly. That's why. I'm overwhelmed at the moment.
I'm having trouble uploading photos as well. Add it to the list.
Please forgive my silence (both online and personal) at the moment. I am trying to keep it together.
I hope things will settle down soon.
I did a full set of CT scans before starting chemo and we are starting chemo again at just the right time. There is a big growth of tumours in my neck (which is physically visible, so no surprises there)and some under my right arm. It has also finally spread to my liver, but still in early stages there. We are hoping that the chemo aspect will shrink and slow the tumour growth and the new drug (Avastin)might kill off some tumours completely. Thus the rush to start chemo.
I hope things will settle down soon and I'll be a bit more human. There just seems to be one thing after another after another at the moment. Any single stress would be manageable, but combined all at once like my life is at this moment is just a bit... overwhelming.
Please keep praying for me. God is truly in control at this point - I admit wholeheartedly that I am not.
With love,
God bless,
Jess xox
posted by Jessie at 5:10 am
5 Comments:
Dearest Jess,
So good to hear from you again. No wonder you're feeling overwhelmed, with so much going on.
Just try to be easier on yourself. If we live to 150, there'll still be things we feel we should have done! Let other people do things for you - that is a gift from you to them, to let them feel that they can help you.
Try to relax and just breathe - there are still roses out there.
With love, Val (Lifeforce, Sydney)
Hi Jess,
Thanks for posting again. It's hardly a suprise that you are feeling overwhelmed with so much happening in your life. But Jess I am sure you are coping so beautifully as you always do. Don't let the list get you down.
Thinking of you always.
Je te fais des enormes bisous
Rach xoxoxo
Hi Jess,
'One day more' - my favourite line from Les Miserables.
'One more day, one more dawn, one day more'... forget the list, just relax and do what you need to to feel like yourself & get through the day. I'm sure anybody who reads this blog will understand if you take a little longer to respond.. I sure do :)
Love Chris
Darling Jess
I love that you are so unwavering in your faith that God knows what's going on and I get that your faith comforts you. I have to confess that I'm envious and wish I could feel some of that too, whereas I'm just angry that such a beautiful young woman should have so much to bear in her short life. I'm angry too about the pain all those who love you so dearly must be feeling as they are helpless to change things. You have said many times however that their love and support is immeasurable and for that I am grateful. I hope they can take comfort from the fact that you gain so much from their just being there.
And I do have my own spiritual belief so even though I'm not sure 'who' or 'what' to, I do pray for a miracle for you and for your family.
Try not to be too hard on yourself, but remember too that it's okay to let it all out - what you feel is what you feel.
Maybe next post you will have got your 'sea-legs' with this current treatment. That's what I wish for you anyway and, of course, that it works.
All love, Jane xxx (Life Force)
To our Dearest Jess
Hello my friend, please don't ever feel guilty that you may be letting people down by not having time to respond to all your loving friends. Everyone is praying with you Jess and as Jane (above) says, if you knew just how many people are sharing your life through your Blog, we all Love you and switch on every day and read through your Blog, smiling with you when you record the beautiful events that happen to you and crying with you when they read what you endure and especially when they know how well you do actually cope with it. So Jess, please don't be hard on yourself, we all know that you will respond when you can and this way you can tick off your list, one by one and it will slowly get smaller and smaller.
Jess we all Love you and Pray for you every day and I hope we can all be half as strong as you.
All our Love forever
Coleen & Warren xxx
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