Back in the game
It's been quite a while since my last post. Since I've gone back to work (about five weeks ago), I don't have anywhere near the same amount of time for blogging as I used to. But I miss it. So I will make a bit of a concerted effort to get back into it.
Although, truth be told, not much is happening right now. I'm back at work, and we're trying to make life go back to as normal as possible.
Although, while I'm throwing around phrases like truth be told, we're failing pretty miserably. It's so hard to live 'normally' with something like this hanging over our heads. But we are trying, and hopefully time will make it easier to do.
I'm really glad I went back to work, but at the same time, it's really tough. I use a lot of emotional energy being 'normal' at work, so I'm completely emotionally exhausted in the evenings and on the weekends. I also don't have time to unwind, or do things just for me. So that's really hard. It's also hard on Rich, because I spend all my emotional energy being normal and fine at work, so that when I come home, I'm spent and fractious and irritable. Plus I have nothing left to give and support him, and this is all at least as hard for him as it is for me.
So I am trying to do something about this. Any suggestions? I've started booking myself in for semi-regular massages. The problem seems to be the evenings - between seven o'clock, when I get home, and nine o'clock, when I need to be in bed (yes, I need nine hours of sleep to function), there is barely enough time to cook and eat, let alone do some exercise AND relax! So very open to any suggestions.
I've also got a bit of a 'fuck it, I'm dying' mentality, which means I've put on four kilos and I'm drinking too much on Friday nights. Trying to get out of this mentality, but it's difficult to say no to chocolate or chips or champagne - the whole 'keep yourself healthy' thing just doesn't seem to matter anymore. But this is definitely something I want to change - I'm telling you about it here so that in a few weeks I can post again and say that I've lost that extra weight and I'm not drinking at all!
On the plus side, I am doing some things I want to do. I've got my motorcycle learner's permit now, and this afternoon I'm off to a skills development course (on a closed road, I'm not ready for traffic yet!) to get a bit more experience on the road. It's something I've always wanted to do, and while I'm still getting a bit of opposition from various people, I'm really glad I'm doing it.
The plan - tentatively:
Work and save money till March. In March we have two weddings to go to. Then we'll do our overseas tour (but only for two or three months). When we come back, we'll go back to work until the tumours are big enough for chemo. Then do chemo (when I'll stop working, and probably - at this stage - won't go back again). Eventually, we'll move up to Mackay so I can 'retire'.
I had my last scan six weeks ago, and it was fantastic - the tumours have not grown, if anything, they've shrunk. So that's brilliant. My next scan is on Thursday, so I'll keep you posted.
Thank you everyone who is still reading. I'm not very good with people at the moment (that lack of emotional energy thing), but I'm hoping that that will eventually change and I will get to spend lots of quality time with you all soon. The fact that you're all out there thinking of me means a lot to me.
That's about it for me for the moment... I promise it won't be as long until I post again!
Much love,
Jessie xoxox
Although, truth be told, not much is happening right now. I'm back at work, and we're trying to make life go back to as normal as possible.
Although, while I'm throwing around phrases like truth be told, we're failing pretty miserably. It's so hard to live 'normally' with something like this hanging over our heads. But we are trying, and hopefully time will make it easier to do.
I'm really glad I went back to work, but at the same time, it's really tough. I use a lot of emotional energy being 'normal' at work, so I'm completely emotionally exhausted in the evenings and on the weekends. I also don't have time to unwind, or do things just for me. So that's really hard. It's also hard on Rich, because I spend all my emotional energy being normal and fine at work, so that when I come home, I'm spent and fractious and irritable. Plus I have nothing left to give and support him, and this is all at least as hard for him as it is for me.
So I am trying to do something about this. Any suggestions? I've started booking myself in for semi-regular massages. The problem seems to be the evenings - between seven o'clock, when I get home, and nine o'clock, when I need to be in bed (yes, I need nine hours of sleep to function), there is barely enough time to cook and eat, let alone do some exercise AND relax! So very open to any suggestions.
I've also got a bit of a 'fuck it, I'm dying' mentality, which means I've put on four kilos and I'm drinking too much on Friday nights. Trying to get out of this mentality, but it's difficult to say no to chocolate or chips or champagne - the whole 'keep yourself healthy' thing just doesn't seem to matter anymore. But this is definitely something I want to change - I'm telling you about it here so that in a few weeks I can post again and say that I've lost that extra weight and I'm not drinking at all!
On the plus side, I am doing some things I want to do. I've got my motorcycle learner's permit now, and this afternoon I'm off to a skills development course (on a closed road, I'm not ready for traffic yet!) to get a bit more experience on the road. It's something I've always wanted to do, and while I'm still getting a bit of opposition from various people, I'm really glad I'm doing it.
The plan - tentatively:
Work and save money till March. In March we have two weddings to go to. Then we'll do our overseas tour (but only for two or three months). When we come back, we'll go back to work until the tumours are big enough for chemo. Then do chemo (when I'll stop working, and probably - at this stage - won't go back again). Eventually, we'll move up to Mackay so I can 'retire'.
I had my last scan six weeks ago, and it was fantastic - the tumours have not grown, if anything, they've shrunk. So that's brilliant. My next scan is on Thursday, so I'll keep you posted.
Thank you everyone who is still reading. I'm not very good with people at the moment (that lack of emotional energy thing), but I'm hoping that that will eventually change and I will get to spend lots of quality time with you all soon. The fact that you're all out there thinking of me means a lot to me.
That's about it for me for the moment... I promise it won't be as long until I post again!
Much love,
Jessie xoxox
posted by Jessie at 11:19 am
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home