T minus 24

Well, tomorrow is the big day. It was supposed to be Tuesday the 14th, but apparently my surgeon needs to do an eight-hour surgery on that day, so she's been scrabbling around trying to fit all her other patients in. I'm booked in for Monday afternoon, so I need to arrive at about 11am and the surgery will probably be at about 2pm

We (Mama, Rich and I) have spent most of the weekend with Kirstin and the Australian Story crew, getting some footage and doing interviews.

I'm starting to wish I'd taken a few days off before going in for surgery. It's been a bit of a frantic weekend and I feel like there's all this stuff I need to do before I go in for surgery tomorrow. I just haven't had time to write emails, make phone calls, send text messages and I feel like there are a lot of people I'm just not going to have time to speak to tomorrow. If you're one of them, I'm very sorry.

I also feel like I need some time to process what's happening. I haven't really had time or energy to sit down and really emote and process all the implications of the surgery tomorrow. I've been working hard in the lead-up to the time-off I'm taking and I've just accepted matter-of-factly that the surgery needs to take place, therefore it's happening. I feel like I need to grieve the fact that I am in fact having a hysterectomy, and that means DEFINITELY no children will ever be born of my body - but I'm just not ready to grieve yet. I suppose it doesn't really matter whether I grieve before or after the surgery - it has to happen either way.

I'm just a bit frazzled. I want to lie down, take it easy and read, but there's all this stuff I feel like I need to do. So I'm going to blog quickly, write a few emails, send some text messages, maybe make a call or two, and then I'm going to just take it easy and be peaceful.