I am in Flow...
By the simple expedient of doubling my pain killers, I am feeling so much better. I think the problem was that I was using old patches that no longer had any potency. It has made me realise just how much background pain I would be in if I wasn't taking pain killers.
Anyway, the drawback is of course that the parallel universe that exists when I close my eyes is back. I am learning to not speak immediately after waking up after any of my hundreds of micronaps throughout the day - "Careful, the animals are on the edge of the mattress" does make you sound crazy. And I'm not - I just fall into a groggy doze very very easily. Ie any time I'm sitting down for a period of more than 30 seconds. Buses are dangerous - I can end up anywhere at the moment.
But, I feel good, and I can gradually decrease the painkillers.
In fact, I'm probably a little bit manic - doing everything at speed and constantly doing SOMETHING. I can live with that. I feel like I'm getting things done during the day and that makes me feel good.
I'm actually enjoying a pressure-free January - no Christmas or any big event looming that I must prepare for. Just radiation everyday which is pretty cruisy. (Oh yeah, did I mention we were doing a couple of weeks radiation? Should help with the lumps in my neck and some of the bones in my leg and pelvis.)
Also spending a lot of time with Amy - as much as possible. She is off on her big trip around the world for a year or two with Dave. They leave on Australia Day. She and I are going away for a day or two just before they go. I'm terrified of saying goodbye to her.
Otherwise, I am in Flow. Things are working the way they are supposed to. I am very very happy.
Thank you for your love and support over this past bad week. And thank you Lord for being there every moment as well. I am never alone.
I am, however, much loved. Thank you for the happy flowers! I love happy flowers.
Next post will probably be a whinge again :) What a roller-coaster this is.
I am loved; I am blessed. May you feel as loved and blessed as I. May God bless you as richly as he does me.
WIth great love,
Jessie xoxoxo
Anyway, the drawback is of course that the parallel universe that exists when I close my eyes is back. I am learning to not speak immediately after waking up after any of my hundreds of micronaps throughout the day - "Careful, the animals are on the edge of the mattress" does make you sound crazy. And I'm not - I just fall into a groggy doze very very easily. Ie any time I'm sitting down for a period of more than 30 seconds. Buses are dangerous - I can end up anywhere at the moment.
But, I feel good, and I can gradually decrease the painkillers.
In fact, I'm probably a little bit manic - doing everything at speed and constantly doing SOMETHING. I can live with that. I feel like I'm getting things done during the day and that makes me feel good.
I'm actually enjoying a pressure-free January - no Christmas or any big event looming that I must prepare for. Just radiation everyday which is pretty cruisy. (Oh yeah, did I mention we were doing a couple of weeks radiation? Should help with the lumps in my neck and some of the bones in my leg and pelvis.)
Also spending a lot of time with Amy - as much as possible. She is off on her big trip around the world for a year or two with Dave. They leave on Australia Day. She and I are going away for a day or two just before they go. I'm terrified of saying goodbye to her.
Otherwise, I am in Flow. Things are working the way they are supposed to. I am very very happy.
Thank you for your love and support over this past bad week. And thank you Lord for being there every moment as well. I am never alone.
I am, however, much loved. Thank you for the happy flowers! I love happy flowers.
Next post will probably be a whinge again :) What a roller-coaster this is.
I am loved; I am blessed. May you feel as loved and blessed as I. May God bless you as richly as he does me.
WIth great love,
Jessie xoxoxo
posted by Jessie at 10:42 pm
1 Comments:
Hey cowgirl,
Just caught up with your recent posts, sorry to hear it's not been going great recently. Thinking of you.
MJ
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