Jessie Make Bang Bangs
Usually after a post like that, I write something beautifully brave and inspirational. Well, shove it. I'm still as cranky as a big brother inmate in a house with no mirrors.
I'm in the process of switching one of my drugs. I'm not taking morphine for breakthrough pain any more, I'm taking a new drug called Ativan which is kinda an amazing all in one - anti-nausea, anti-anxiety and muscle relaxant. Like valium but better. I love it lots already; a lot of my pain is nerve transference and muscle tension, so the muscle relaxant works as well as morphine. Hopefully it will make my brain a little less foggy, and it's a hell of a lot better on my poor liver. It does make me sleepy though, but as I take it more and more I'll become immune to that.
I've been very teary and emotional lately. Rarely over the big stuff, just the little stuff. I'm so frazzled over Christmas and I really shouldn't be. It should be a time for peace and joy and spending time with people. But I'm going through another 'I'm so overwhelmed' phase.
I went shootin' on Monday. It was awesoeme. Made me feel so much better. So, whenever I feel lousy, I just need to shoot a gun. I might check out the gun range at Carindale. Ipswich is a bit far to go each time, even though it was totally awesome. Then again, Richelle's up for it, so maybe I'll just go out to Ipswich each week. I'm actually pretty good too. All my rounds hit the target and most hit pretty close - and a couple of bullseyes. It's very meditative... you have headphones on so you've blocked out the world, you have your little set up routine, you centre yourself and breathe as you aim, and then you freakin fire a gun. Heck yeah. Stress relief baby. Pity you can't really do it in short shorts.
I have also devised the ultimate make yourself feel better when everything sucks. It is very simple. You say "Woe, woe, woe is me." In the most whiny, pathetic, whingy, drawn out voice of misery possible. After a couple of attempts, I get a bit disgusted at how pathetic I sound and move on. Try it sometime. (It's a bit more accessible than shootin' stuff too. Although I REALLY liked shootin'.)
Wooooooooooooooooooooeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, wooooooooooooooooeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, wooooooooooooooooooeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee is meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
God loves me no matter how pathetic I sound.
And for some reason so do you lot. Ta for that by the way.
God bless you.
Jessie (Pow! Bang! Pow!)
PS. Thanks Chelle. I needed that.
I'm in the process of switching one of my drugs. I'm not taking morphine for breakthrough pain any more, I'm taking a new drug called Ativan which is kinda an amazing all in one - anti-nausea, anti-anxiety and muscle relaxant. Like valium but better. I love it lots already; a lot of my pain is nerve transference and muscle tension, so the muscle relaxant works as well as morphine. Hopefully it will make my brain a little less foggy, and it's a hell of a lot better on my poor liver. It does make me sleepy though, but as I take it more and more I'll become immune to that.
I've been very teary and emotional lately. Rarely over the big stuff, just the little stuff. I'm so frazzled over Christmas and I really shouldn't be. It should be a time for peace and joy and spending time with people. But I'm going through another 'I'm so overwhelmed' phase.
I went shootin' on Monday. It was awesoeme. Made me feel so much better. So, whenever I feel lousy, I just need to shoot a gun. I might check out the gun range at Carindale. Ipswich is a bit far to go each time, even though it was totally awesome. Then again, Richelle's up for it, so maybe I'll just go out to Ipswich each week. I'm actually pretty good too. All my rounds hit the target and most hit pretty close - and a couple of bullseyes. It's very meditative... you have headphones on so you've blocked out the world, you have your little set up routine, you centre yourself and breathe as you aim, and then you freakin fire a gun. Heck yeah. Stress relief baby. Pity you can't really do it in short shorts.
I have also devised the ultimate make yourself feel better when everything sucks. It is very simple. You say "Woe, woe, woe is me." In the most whiny, pathetic, whingy, drawn out voice of misery possible. After a couple of attempts, I get a bit disgusted at how pathetic I sound and move on. Try it sometime. (It's a bit more accessible than shootin' stuff too. Although I REALLY liked shootin'.)
Wooooooooooooooooooooeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, wooooooooooooooooeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, wooooooooooooooooooeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee is meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
God loves me no matter how pathetic I sound.
And for some reason so do you lot. Ta for that by the way.
God bless you.
Jessie (Pow! Bang! Pow!)
PS. Thanks Chelle. I needed that.
posted by Jessie at 11:16 pm
3 Comments:
Oooh! I like a women with a gun! Although maybe not on severe painkillers with a gun. But then again....I have a list of people you may be able to help me out with! Anyways...if you feel like taking this to the next step, we have rabbits, kangaroos and plenty of stray neighbourhood kids to practice on. Oh yeh, plus Bill. (Should I put my name to this??!!) Sharyn
Hi Jess
It sounds like a great idea - a woman with a gun - not sure Jimmy and the kids would like to see me in that space though!
Glad that you're finding a way to let off steam - even if you can't do it in short shorts!
I hope you have a great Xmas and New Year with your new family - Xmas with kids is a whole new experience.
lots of love and hugs
Gill x
Why no short shorts?? :-P
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